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Queermm
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Name: Martin
Location: Elkhart, Indiana, United States
Birthday: 4/18/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Music, Boys, movies, musicals, boys, and, yeah...boys.
Expertise: Music...classical music, though. And literature. I could write circles around Poe.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  Queerym
MSN: over_the_edge38@hotmail.com
Member Since:
2/18/2005
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| Sometimes it just never works out. All the world comes down and break you. But of course giving up is not an option. It is surrender and mutiny. FUCK IT...why should i bear this cross alone? Why should I wait restlessly for an absolution? WHY CAN'T HE LOVE ME! I have done everything for him. I have risked everything for him. And what do i get in return? "I never wanna see you again." And there is no fuck him, move on, it's done. I am him...and he is me. We were happy...fucking happy. I don't even cry for him anymore. I'm not worth tears. Is it so hard to get the one thing i want? I let the world pass me by, give to others, abstain from standing out with so much potential...ALL I EVER WANTED WAS HIS FRIENDSHIP. But because of other people i can't even have that. What have I become? Where do i go? What do I do?...... Who am I? | | |
| Everything's changed. I have so much to say, and so much to remember, but it just doesn't seem important. I'm still in love. But it's soured, this relationship. Not our fault, but we have to suffer in it. I've cried so much that now the tears do not escape. I've dried and withered to nothing. I move along in the monotany of this life, wishing and hoping and wanting so much else. I can't say how many times I've felt like ending everything. In the end, I'm nothing and I don't matter, right? So if I know it, why can't I be happy in that. If my life ended tomorrow, it'd be for the best, really. I'm just a hassle and a bad person. But yeah, I know this self-depricating crap is boring and old, but I don't have anything else. I moved back in with my mom because my roommate kicke dme out and stole from me. If I ever see him in public, by the way, he's going down...Seriously. I'm dead on the inside. There's no going back. Someday, though...maybe soon...I'll be finished with the rest...Love Always... | | |
| Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn...4 months? Woooow!!! | | |
| I don't know why I sit here and wait for you. I have so many things to do to keep myself unbored, but I can't resist waiting for the chance to see you. You engulf every aspect of my life. I can't say I love you anymore than I have, it's just too much. Actually, no it's not enough. I show you everyday. So do you, but you don't admit it. I hope to see you soon, and if not then just tomorrow. I can be strong and wait. Why, it's only for a day. | | |
| He turned to me, his eyes red and watered. He looked directly into my eyes, and with a shaky voice, he whispered. "I can't handle this, Martin. I love you, I do, but i can't take this. People laughing at me, staring at us, calling us names, or even worse...I just don't want to be embarassed or afraid or nervous anymore. I just can't handle it." I stared into his eyes, and moved my hand to his cheek. I rubbed my thumb across a single tear. "You don't have to," I told him. "But we can."
If the love inside your heart could bind into knots, and if your voice could make me crumble and silently slip into happiness, then the notion I have of doing any and every thing for you shall forever exist. I love you more than I love myself. Your every word my command, my sole happiness dependent on only what you want. I cannot live without you, I do not ever want to. And as long as I at least can see you, hold your hand, hug you... know that you're alive... I will forever be indebted to you. Your will be done, my life is yours. Take it. | | |
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